For years, I’ve written about love, marriage, and the realities of happily ever after, and I’ve often wondered:

Is everyone’s marriage like this?

In this article, I’m interviewing 5 women who are happily married to learn what makes their marriages unique, functioning, and love-filled. It’s refreshing & inspiring to see a range of relationship dynamics and know that we all practice love in our own beautiful ways. I hope this article inspires you to try some new things, ask new questions, and grow further in love with your partner this year.

Jan Kathleen Vero

Married: 1.5 years // Together: 6 years

1. Was it “love at first sight”?

Nope! I met my husband through Tinder and I was scared to go on a date! We talked for about 6 months before I decided to meet him in person. I did think he is a good looking man (thus, I swiped right — haha!) but it was his persistence and kind heart that made me want to meet him after those few months of text messaging and phone calls.

2. Was it one event or a period of time where you “fell in love”?

I’ve had my heart broken before and I believe I am one of those who started to be skeptical about love, I rationalize feelings and had my walls up to protect my heart. It was definitely over a period of time when I realize that I’d fallen in love with him. I moved to another state and he would take a bus to spend time with me during the weekends, take me out on dates, go to church with me, bought me flowers, and took care of me when I was sick. He was very consistent and he never failed to let me know that he cared about me. So after months of him courting* me, we officially became a couple!

*Courting is so Filipino — I literally had to google it for him to understand what it means in our culture.

3. How did you know he was “Mr. Right”?

Honestly, the particular moment I knew he was Mr. Right was when we were having Popeye’s Chicken. While we were eating, he deliberately took all of his fried chicken skin and gave it to me. I asked him, “Why are you giving this to me?” And he said, “Because I know it’s the best part and that’s your favorite!” It sounds so simple, but at that moment I knew he will always look after me and will sacrifice his little piece of happiness to make me happy.

4. When did you start to “go Dutch”? (AKA split the bill on dates or pay for half the dates)

I think we started doing that after we were officially in a relationship. We usually would take turns in paying for the bill (we don’t usually split the bill). It feels like we are giving each other a free treat every time!

5. What’s a unique way you “speak his love language”?

His love language is acts of service. He is at his happiest when I make home-cooked meals or whip up a dessert. Another thing I find that makes him feel loved is when I check on his family and help them take care of little things.

6. What’s one piece of advice you give for “happily wedded bliss”?

Always make those everyday ordinary moments that you share together count. You will have those climatic and cinematic moments but it is the daily pieces of showing how much you love each other that creates a foundation of your life together. When you wake up, greet each other, say “I love you”, wish him a good day at work, take the trash out, watch shows together, put Vicks on her temples so she can sleep, express how grateful you are of his presence, compliment him that he looks good, encourage her to pursue her dream, and pray together. Always communicate, be kind, appreciate each other and from what we learned from our pre-cana, “Help your partner go to heaven”.

Lexi Morrison

Married: 1.5 years // Together: 7 years

1. Was it “love at first sight”?

Nope!  In fact I didn’t want to date him since I just came out of a relationship where I was cheated on, so I wasn’t ready to date any one.  Add to it that I fell down an entire flight of stairs when I first met him, which truly wasn’t romantic.  (But we always joke that it’s the moment he knew he wanted to marry me.)

2. Was it one event or a period of time where you “fell in love”?

It was absolutely a period of time. It wasn’t how love was portrayed in movies or what I thought it would be. It was a moment of time where I saw we genuinely cared for one another and showed up for one another. He just became one of my best friends — whether we strolled through the aisles of Goodwill together for a DIY project or went on a formal date. I just knew I loved him and his company. 

3. How did you know he was “Mr. Right”?

Our first Valentine’s Day, we had a formal date planned and unfortunately I ended up getting sick, so instead he picked up food to-go and came to my place to take care of me. I knew I found a keeper.

4. When did you start to “go Dutch”?

In the beginning, we would take turns paying for dates. We were in college and very broke, so eventually that was too much of a roller coaster for our bank accounts.  For a long time I was “Miss Independent” and always preferred I pay for the dates or we split the bill. I would say 3-5 months in, we were splitting the bill.

5. What’s a unique way you “speak his love language”?

His love language is words of affirmation so I do my best to ensure he feels validated and that I see and hear him regardless of his “performance”. I write little letters to him and put them in his lunch bag.

6. What’s one piece of advice you give for “happily wedded bliss”?

Don’t ignore your expectations and his expectations. Don’t be afraid to bring up what’s on your mind. Communication is so very important to reach “bliss.” Keep God at the center and if that slips away, keep returning back to God. Show up for each other and even when you’re frustrated, remember you’re on the same team and you never want to stop cheering for them. Happily wedded bliss is enjoying the everyday journey together: the ups, the downs, and the mundane. It doesn’t have to look like a fairytale! It can look like doing the dishes and taking out the trash after a long day. 

Dominique Dudley

Married: 7 months // Together: 5 years

1. Was it “love at first sight”?

It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was something. I knew from connecting with Julian when we first met that I really liked him, and he says that he knew from our first date that I was the type of woman whom he would love to have as a wife. I liked him because he was charming, intelligent, and polite. 

2. Was it one event or a period of time where you “fell in love”?

We had been dating for a few months, and we took a road trip to visit his grandparents in Atlanta. On the way back, I called my best friend and cried, because I loved seeing how he lit up when around his family and how special he was to all of them. He handled everyone with such care, and was very respectful to the elders. Additionally, he made me feel just as special all weekend and included and considered me in every way. I knew at that moment that I was in love.

3. How did you know he was “Mr. Right”?

I knew he was Mr. Right at a time when so much was going wrong in my life. (My mom received a scary diagnosis and I was struggling with my faith.) He stands up when I don’t have the strength to, and he speaks for me when I can’t.

4. When did you start to “go Dutch”?

Soon after we became “official”. He paid while he courted me, and I began treating him to dates once we were committed. 

5. What’s a unique way you “speak his love language”?

His love language is physical touch, and he loves to lounge in bed until the very last moment. Meanwhile, I tend to hop out as soon as I wake up. I speak his love language by curling up for him just a few moments longer. Granted, my mind is racing thinking of what I could be doing. I try to let him know I love him by doing those things later. 

6. What’s one piece of advice you give for “happily wedded bliss”?

Don’t ruin your wedded bliss with your wedded expectations.

Lizzie Watkins

Married: 2 years // Together: 4 years

1. Was it “love at first sight”?

No, I wouldn’t say so. Greg is too practical for that — enneagram 5 through and through.

2. Was it one event or a period of time where you “fell in love”?

I guess it was a period of time or a series of little events. Laughing at whatever dumb things we found funny, traveling together, and spending time with each other’s families all paved the way to knowing it was love. Even things like fighting and knowing we could make it to the other side helped me know I loved him in a real way and not just an “I love you because you make me happy all the time” way.

3. How did you know he was “Mr. Right”?

After a year of dating, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be with the person I was supposed to be with. As cliché as it sounds, it was just one of those moments where I looked over at him and knew I didn’t want to be with anyone else.

4. When did you start to “go Dutch”?

Greg actually always paid for our dates and was never worried about me picking up the bill. If I planned something or surprised him, I was obviously the one who paid! 

5. What’s a unique way you “speak his love language”?

I don’t think much of it, but Greg pointed out once that I always take care of little things for him before he notices them. If his toothpaste is running out, I get a new tube before it’s empty. If he had a big meeting at work (pre-pandemic), I’d dig his favorite shirt out and make sure it was steamed the night before. His love language is acts of service, so he always lets me know he appreciates those things! 

6. What’s one piece of advice you give for “happily wedded bliss”?

I don’t know much, but I have learned that that being at peace is so much more important than getting the last word in. Greg is slow to anger, which humbles me in moments when I’m ready to argue. Working for our happiness together rather than individually takes practice but makes our marriage a lot better when we get it right.

Amber Leveritt

Married: 3 years // Together: 5 years

1. Was it “love at first sight”?

I wouldn’t say so, but I really did feel like as soon as we met there was something different about him! 

2. Was it one event or a period of time where you “fell in love”?

I would say more of a short period of time. Once we met, we both felt that deep connection and hung out a few days after meeting and basically haven’t been apart since. 

4. When did you start to “go Dutch”?

He always paid in the beginning. Once we lived together and before I stayed home with kids, I helped where I could. It was always “our money”.

5. What’s a unique way you “speak his love language”?

His languages are physical touch and words of affirmation, which are my two lowest, so I have to make a consistent effort. (I actually have a friend who is an accountability partner that I keep in check with.)  I try to send thoughtful texts and notes and make sure I’m hugging and kissing him.

6. What’s one piece of advice you give for “happily wedded bliss”?

Don’t forget to forgive often and pick your battles!

Living in Love

I hope the words kindly shared by these women help you, encourage you, and inspire you to grow your relationship this year. One of the things that surprised me is that NONE of the women “fell in love at first sight”. What about your love story? Did you gradually grow love, or did you know right when you met him? Leave a comment for us below!