Wowza. 2020! Amiright?! It’s been described as a dumpster fire, and I can’t say that description is totally wrong.  In the best sense, 2020 has offered us an invitation to slow down, to check in more with our loved ones, and reflect more on ourselves and what is truly important to us.  In the world of mental health, the word for 2020 is traumatic.  Whatever you may have going on in your personal life, in the constant background of 2020 you’re probably dealing with ongoing trauma that is affecting your everyday life.  One definition of trauma is “too much, too soon”.  We are getting new information that is changing all the time about lockdowns, vaccines, and new protocols.  This trauma is also open-ended — we don’t know when it will end.  If ever there was a time to dive into compassion, self care, and perhaps therapy, this is the year. 

As we enter the homestretch of 2020, while you might be hopeful but unknowing of what 2021 will bring, you most likely have a level of weariness and need for rest like never before.  When have we ever collectively decided we all want Christmas so early?  Some radio stations started playing Christmas music on election day.  I have heard hardly any complaints about getting trees up before Thanksgiving.  Mine is up already, and my husband and I have rarely been early before.  We are all needing reminders of hope.  I can’t be with my mom in New York this year — the first year in my life — but, she can say a prayer for me over the phone. 

That prayer is an act of connection, hope, and love more necessary and meaningful to me than ever. 

Self-Care Practices for Stress Management

Another way of working through the trauma of this year is to incorporate a self-care routine.  If a self-care practice is new to you, here are a few basics to start with:

1. Morning Self-Reflection

Even for just a few minutes a day, begin the practice of reflecting and observing yourself — your thoughts, behavior, wants, and needs — without judgement.  A daily check in will help you attune to taking better care of yourself. Journaling is a wonderful tool to help us become more mindful.  You could use questions suggested by Dr. Nicole LePera on Instagram.  A great question she offers for the morning time is: “How will I take care of myself today?”  In response, choose from one or more present needs from our basic pillars of health — movement, rest, time in nature, nutrition, thought life, and social life. 

2. Activity

What are you needing most this day: more activity or maybe a nap? A 15-minute walk in the morning can do wonders for your mental health.  Do you need to reach out to a friend and process your thoughts that way, or maybe write them down?  Time in nature is so restorative especially when we feel the heaviness of the world.  Even just taking a minute to notice and enjoy some beautiful flowers or trees helps to manage daily stress levels.

3. Nutrition

When was your last full, healthy meal? Check in with yourself.  The more you do this, the more it will become a habit to take care of basic needs that can easily be forgotten when you’re stressed.

4. Evening Self-Reflection

At the end of your day, you can ask yourself a few more of Dr. LePera’s reflective questions: “What have I done to take care of myself today?” “What can I do to better take care of myself tomorrow?” 

It’s important to try to gently remind yourself not to judge yourself as you practice observing your thoughts.  You are mostly likely not operating in the same way, or level, you were last year, when we were not living in a global pandemic.  Most people are doing the best they can.  If you have a day where you weren’t able to care for yourself the way you wanted, that’s okay.  Tomorrow is a new day, and loving yourself and cultivating self-compassion is important.  You may feel self-compassion will slow you down, but research shows the opposite to be true.

Self-compassion helps manage symptoms of depression and anxiety.

You can ask yourself, “How would I speak to a good friend about this misstep or disappointment?”  Set out to work on accepting ALL parts of yourself — not just the happy, sweet parts. 

A Little More Support, Please

One of the wonderful things I get to experience in my counseling practice is the change the millennial generation brings.  There is a strong desire to make emotional well-being a priority more than the generations before.  Millennials have done so much to lessen the stigmas of mental health.  You understand good mental health is important — just as important as physical health — and sometimes that means seeking professional help.  You’re more likely to support your friends who are in therapy, or openly discuss ideas that have helped you personally in therapy.  You’re educating and supporting each other this way all over social media as well — and it’s wonderful to witness!  Social media is an incredible resource for mental health tools, education, and supporting one another, but it’s not professional help.

Instagram isn’t therapy.

If you are feeling that sharing your personal story with an objective professional may be helpful, I would encourage you to do so.  Professional therapists work to create a warm, safe environment to bring both empathy and challenge to your life.  If you have been curious for years, I suggest that 2020 is the year to give yourself the gifts of compassion, self-care, and possibly professional support.

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